In those short seconds after the slits, the ecstacy I feel is undescrivable. I'm at loss of words when it comes to that feeling. But let me take a few steps back, and let me start from the start: First, my entire body fills up with anguish, despair, and of course rage. Then in a rush of emotions I rancorously rip the skin, whatever, I just want to fucking bleed!

In the back of my mind I feel accomplished for I am no longer in a ball of my own sin. No more walloing, no more what-ifs, no more opinions; just the relieve, the empowerment. I've hurt "her" through me.

To me cutting is like performing vodoo- my wrist becomes her godamn face and I'm taking out all of my rage. The more I cut the more I kill her. There's nothing more devine than this magickal art.

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