Oh Goth, what have I done?? I have regressed, relapsed into a place I didn't want to go again!

I feel the burning on my arms and I can't help but feel good. I see the blood in my wounds and it's like a huge release! Don't worry this won't become a habit again, not like before. There was a time when I would do it everyday! Then I slowly decreased. The last time I cut was back in February.

I hate that I relapsed and ruined my recovery streak, but I needed it. Don't you understand?? I NEEDED IT! The voices were too strong and as I kept cutting I kept yelling and swearing out all my problems in anger!

Cutting serves so many purposes for me. The blood represents the tears when I cannot cry. It is a release of anger and sadness even happiness. I crave the adrenaline rush. When I am numb it makes me feel alive. Part of me doesn't even feel any shame in what I have done. Isn't that sick? I may feel it more later on this morning.

This is the last time I swear! I just needed one last time.

I promise!

Flaw -Medicate-

Flaw -Whole-

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